How to Write a Legacy Letter with a Patient

There’s something profoundly powerful about putting words to the things that matter most – love, memories, gratitude, forgiveness, and lessons learned along the way.

For many hospice patients, the desire to leave something behind goes beyond possessions. They want to leave their heart – in their own words – for the people they love most.

That’s where a legacy letter comes in.

As a hospice volunteer, helping a patient craft their legacy letter can be one of the most intimate and meaningful experiences you’ll ever share. Here’s how to gently guide that process with care, compassion, and respect.

What Is a Legacy Letter?

A legacy letter (sometimes called an “ethical will”) is a written message that captures a person’s values, life lessons, and love.

Unlike a legal will that divides belongings, a legacy letter passes down something far more personal – wisdom, gratitude, and connection.

It can be long or short, handwritten or typed, formal or conversational. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. What matters most is that it comes from the heart.

Setting the Scene

Writing a legacy letter together should feel peaceful and unhurried.

Here are a few ways to create a safe, supportive space:

• Choose a quiet time when the patient feels alert and comfortable.
• Bring paper, a notebook, or your laptop if they’d like you to help type.
• Let them lead the pace – even a few sentences a day is meaningful.
• Listen deeply; sometimes what they don’t say reveals as much as what they do.

Gentle Prompts to Get Started

Not every patient will know where to begin, and that’s okay. Gentle questions can help spark memories and reflection, such as:

• What are you most proud of in your life?
• Who has meant the most to you, and why?
• What are the most important lessons you’ve learned?
• What are your hopes for your loved ones’ futures?
• What does love mean to you?
• Is there anything you’d like to say that you’ve never said before?

You can write their answers word for word or help them shape the message into a letter format. The tone can be serious, lighthearted, or even funny – just like them.

Writing with Sensitivity

As you help capture their words, remember: this process isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence.

Some patients may express deep emotion or regret. Others might want to keep things simple and factual. Every approach is okay. Follow their lead, honor their comfort, and hold space for whatever emotions arise.

If the moment feels heavy, pause for a deep breath or a soft distraction – perhaps a memory, a laugh, or a cup of tea.

Helping Them Choose Recipients

Some patients will want to write one letter to everyone, while others may prefer individual notes – one for each family member, friend, or grandchild.

You can gently ask:

“Would you like this to be one message for everyone, or separate letters for different people?”

If they can’t decide, suggest writing one general letter first – they can always personalize it later.

Preserving the Letter

Once complete, help ensure the letter is stored safely. You could:

• Print and place it in a sealed envelope labeled “Legacy Letter” and addressed to the recipient.
• Email it to the family with the patient’s permission.
• Ask the hospice social worker or nurse to include it in the patient’s keepsake materials.

Sometimes, patients want to read the letter aloud before they pass. Other times, they prefer it to be discovered later. Both are beautiful choices.

The Gift of Legacy

Helping a patient write a legacy letter is about more than words – it’s about closure, connection, and peace.

It’s a way for them to say: “I was here. I loved deeply. And this is what mattered most to me.”

For the family, receiving that letter later often becomes one of their most treasured keepsakes – a tangible reminder of love that lives on.

Want to Help Create Moments Like This?

At Holly’s Haven, our volunteers help patients find meaning and comfort in countless ways – sometimes through laughter, sometimes through listening, and sometimes through legacy.

If you’d like to be part of this sacred work, we’d love to welcome you to our volunteer family.

Learn more about volunteering with us and discover how your time, heart, and words can make a lasting difference.