Essential Oils for Grief: Comfort and Calm During Difficult Times
Grief is one of the most complex emotional responses we experience. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a loss of a relationship, or even the quiet sorrow that comes with the loss of a pet, grief affects not just our emotions, but our physical health, mental health, and spiritual balance.
For hospice volunteers, caregivers, and families walking beside someone in mourning, the grieving process can feel heavy. While there is no quick fix for emotional pain, the gentle use of essential oils can offer comfort, calm, and a sense of peace during these tender times.
Let’s explore how aromatherapy supports the healing process, and which essential oil blends are especially nurturing for the heart during grief.
The Science Behind Scent and Emotion
Our sense of smell is directly connected to the limbic system: the part of the brain that regulates emotions, memories, and the nervous system. When we inhale an aroma, it bypasses logic and instantly stirs emotional memories. That’s why a whiff of rose or vanilla can bring back a long-forgotten moment or soothe the soul when words fail.
This direct link between scent and emotion makes essential oils a gentle ally in the stages of grief. Whether used through inhalation, topical application with a carrier oil, or simple diffusion, aromatherapy can help balance emotional distress, promote inner peace, and support the nervous system through difficult days.
Why Essential Oils Can Help During Times of Grief
During grief, we may feel ungrounded, anxious, or unable to focus. The use of essential oils can provide a sense of comfort and a small routine that anchors the day.
Some ways essential oils can support the emotional healing process:
- Calming racing thoughts and lowering blood pressure during waves of stress
- Promoting rest when sleep is disrupted by emotional turmoil
- Providing a sense of delight or gentle relief in dark moments
- Encouraging emotional release through scent-triggered memories
- Restoring balance to the heart chakra and energy centers that hold grief
A few drops of a powerful essential oil in a diffuser, or rolled over the heart center with a soothing carrier oil, can create a small safe space for reflection and emotional support.
The Best Essential Oils for Grief
There’s no single “right” blend – just what brings comfort to you or the person you’re caring for. Here are some of the best essential oils known to ease emotional pain and support the healing process.
1. Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
Lavender essential oil is one of the most beloved flower oils for a reason. Known for its peaceful aroma and calming effect on the nervous system, it helps release tension, soothe restlessness, and promote emotional well-being.
Lavender has been used since ancient times to bring balance during periods of stress and sadness. For caregivers, it’s a gentle reminder to breathe deeply and rest the heart.
Try this: Add 3 drops of lavender oil to a diffuser before bed or mix with jojoba or coconut oil for gentle topical application to the wrists or neck.
2. Rose (Rosa damascena)
Rose oil is the essence of love and comfort. This exquisite floral aroma has been associated with emotional healing and heart chakra balance for centuries.
Rose helps open the heart after a broken heart or loss, allowing space for love to return in gentle ways. Its scent evokes positive memories and promotes inner strength during the hardest moments.
Tip: Combine one drop of rose with lavender and frankincense for a grounding, heart-centered essential oil blend.
3. Black Spruce (Picea mariana)
A grounding wood oil with a rich earthy aroma, black spruce provides strength and courage in the midst of sorrow. It supports emotional stability and deep breathing, helping you feel anchored when grief feels like it’s pulling you under.
It’s an excellent choice for volunteers or caregivers who need steady energy while offering compassion to others.
Use it: Diffuse 2 drops of black spruce with lavender for a calm, forest-like scent that promotes inner peace.
4. Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)
Geranium is another deeply comforting flower oil that helps lift heavy emotions and balance mood swings during the stages of grief. Its floral aroma restores harmony to the emotions and encourages emotional release without overwhelming the senses.
Blend idea: Mix 2 drops of geranium with rose oil and sweet orange in a roller bottle for emotional balance throughout the day.
5. Frankincense (Boswellia carterii)
Frankincense, often called the “oil of truth,” has been used since ancient times for spiritual grounding and meditation. It’s one of the most powerful essential oils for calming the mind and connecting to the deeper meaning of life’s transitions.
Its earthy aroma helps with mental clarity and eases emotional distress, particularly in the later stages of grief when acceptance and reflection begin to take shape.
Suggestion: Add 2 drops to a diffuser before journaling or prayer for a sense of peace and inner strength.
6. Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata)
Ylang ylang essential oil is known for its sweet, sensual fragrance and its ability to lower blood pressure and calm the nervous system. It supports relaxation, balances the heart center, and reduces feelings of emotional turmoil or panic.
It’s especially helpful for family caregivers or dementia caregivers who experience long-term emotional strain.
7. Sandalwood (Santalum paniculatum)
Also known as Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood, this deeply grounding wood oil restores serenity and spiritual connection. It’s perfect for reflection, prayer, or meditation during times of grief.
Its warm, peaceful aroma encourages inner peace and stillness, a reminder that healing unfolds slowly, one breath at a time.
8. Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens)
Derived from cypress trees, this oil symbolizes transformation and renewal. It’s ideal for processing change and letting go of the past.
Cypress supports emotional transition and encourages flow when grief feels stuck. Pairing it with rose or geranium helps balance the emotional responses of sadness and hope.
9. Chamomile (Matricaria recutita)
Chamomile oil is known for its gentle nature, soothing anxiety, encouraging rest, and creating a sense of comfort.
Its nurturing energy can help those experiencing the loss of a friendship or loss of a pet, providing a calm, maternal sense of care.
Try it: Add 2 drops to a warm bath mixed with a carrier oil for safe dilution and external use only.
Blending and Using Essential Oils for Grief
There are a variety of ways to incorporate essential oils into your daily activities or volunteer visits:
Diffusion – Use a diffuser in a quiet safe space to fill the room with a comforting aroma.
Topical application – Combine 2–3 drops of your oil blend of choice with a teaspoon of carrier oil (like jojoba, almond, or coconut oil). Apply over the heart chakra, wrists, or behind the ears.
Roller bottle – Create a portable blend by adding 10–15 drops of essential oils to a 10ml roller bottle topped with a carrier oil. Keep out of direct sunlight and reach of children.
Inhalation – Add a drop to a tissue or cotton ball, hold near the nose, and take deep breaths to calm the nervous system.
Massage or reflexology – Offer gentle hand or shoulder massage for emotional support and relaxation.
Important: Always check for allergic reactions, skin irritation, or sensitivities. Avoid using oils near mucous membranes and consult a doctor if the person has a medical condition or is on medication.
A Gentle Grief Support Blend
Here’s a comforting essential oil blend that combines floral softness with grounding stability, perfect for caregivers, volunteers, or anyone walking through loss:
- 3 drops lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
- 2 drops rose (Rosa damascena)
- 2 drops frankincense (Boswellia carterii)
- 1 drop black spruce (Picea mariana)
- 1 drop ylang ylang
Mix with 2 tablespoons of your favorite carrier oil for massage or add to a diffuser.
This blend supports both emotional health and mental clarity, inviting comfort through scent and breath.
Sustainable Sourcing and Care
When choosing essential oil products, opt for brands that prioritize sustainable sourcing and transparency. Companies like doTERRA (including the doTERRA Console® blend) offer ethically harvested oils that honor both the earth and the people producing them.
Remember, no essential oil replaces professional counseling or medical treatment. It’s simply a gentle companion in the healing process, a way to bring light into dark moments.
Finding Peace Through Scent
Grief doesn’t have a timeline. It comes and goes in waves, sometimes feeling as fresh as the first time and other times softened by reflection.
The use of essential oils invites a small moment of stillness into those waves: a deep breath, a familiar scent, a reminder that comfort is still possible.
For hospice volunteers and caregivers, offering this small act of comfort, diffusing a calming blend, massaging hands with lavender, or simply sitting together in a positive environment, can mean more than words.
Because sometimes, when there are truly no words for loss, the comforting aroma of an essential oil blend becomes the language of healing.
Takeaway for Volunteers
If you’re supporting someone in grief, let essential oils serve as gentle companions, not to erase pain, but to soften it. Whether through a drop of lavender, the strength of frankincense, or the warmth of rose, may these scents bring peace to every heart they touch.
